How to Win Friends and Influence People - Referral Marketing.pdf

were wrong. Frederick S. Parsons, an income tax consultant, had been disputing and wrangling for an hour with a gover-ment tax inspector. An item of nine thousand dollars was at stake. Mr. Parsons claimed that this nine thousand dollars was in reality a bad debt, that it would never be collected, that it ought not to be taxed. “Bad debt, my eye !" retorted the inspector. “It must be taxed.” “This inspector was cold, arrogant and stubborn,” Mr. Parsons said as he told the story to the class. “Reason was wasted and so were facts. . . The longer we argued, the more stubborn he became. So I decided to avoid argument, change the subject, and give him appreciation. "I said, ‘I suppose this is a very petty matter in comparison with the really important and difficult decisions you’re required to make. I’ve made a study of taxation myself. But I’ve had to get my knowledge from books. You are getting yours from the firing line of experience. I sometime wish I had a job like yours. It would teach me a lot.’ I meant every word I said. “Well.” The inspector straightened up in his chair, leaned back, and talked for a long time about his work, telling me of the clever frauds he had uncovered. His tone gradually became friendly, and presently he was telling me about his children. As he left, he advised me that he would consider my problem further and give me his decision in a few days. “He called at my office three days later and informed me that he had decided to leave the tax return exactly as it was filed.” This tax inspector was demonstrating one of the most common of human frailties. He wanted a feeling of importance; and as long as Mr. Parsons argued with him, he got his feeling of importance by loudly asserting his authority. But as soon as his importance was admitted and the argument stopped and he was permitted to expand his ego, he became a sympathetic and kindly human being. Buddha said: “Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," and a misunder- standing is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint. Lincoln once reprimanded a young army officer for indulging in a violent

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